The occupational health physician: Mind full? Try the three-by-three rule

I'm seeing it more and more in my consultations: highly educated professionals who are reaching their limits. They're tired, feel they're falling short and struggle to find enough time for themselves. So what can help? Or better still – how can you prevent it from getting that far? Here's an approach that works for many people.

Take a blank sheet of paper. Draw seven columns – one for each day of the week – and divide each one into three sections: morning, afternoon and evening. You now have 21 blocks of time. Write ‘work’ in each block when you're due to be working, then take a moment to look at what you see.

It doesn't always feel that way

If you've done this, you'll probably notice that you actually have more blocks of time to yourself than you spend at work. Even with a full-time job, ten of those blocks are taken up by work, leaving eleven that aren't. But it may not feel that way. That's because your mind doesn't clock off at five. The working day carries on in your head long after you've left your desk. You may be sitting at the dinner table, but your thoughts are still somewhere else. The good news is that you can change that. All you need is a simple plan. So let's make one.

We're going to give nine of those free blocks a purpose, using the three-by-three rule: three for exercise (or some form of vigorous physical activity if exercise isn't really your thing), three for things you need to do for others or at home, and three for something you genuinely enjoy. And of course, something you enjoy could also be exercise or a social activity. The activity itself doesn't need to take up the entire morning, afternoon or evening. The point is simply to consciously set aside time for it.

Not choosing is a choice too

The thinking behind this is simple. If you don't decide in advance how you want to spend your time, your day has a habit of filling itself. You end up thinking about work, doing odd jobs, watching Netflix – whatever happens to come along. So not making a choice is, in itself, a choice.

Why three-by-three? Because research consistently points to two things that are important for staying mentally fit. The first is physical activity. It's worth looking at what Erik Scherder, Professor of Clinical Neuropsychology, has to say on the subject – including his advice to get plenty of walking in. The second is regularly doing things that are new and enjoyable. They give your mind something else to focus on, allowing the thoughts and concerns of everyday life to fade into the background. That makes it easier to genuinely switch off from work. The third part of the three-by-three rule – obligations – is about setting boundaries. If there are things you have to get done, schedule them. But limit them to those three blocks rather than allowing your to-do list to take over all your free time.

Something to come back to

You may be thinking: Sounds good, but I'll never stick to it. And you're probably right. There's every chance your carefully planned week will look completely different a month from now. Someone needs help moving house. You have to work late. One of the children gets ill. That's fine. It says absolutely nothing about whether you're doing well or badly.

Life doesn't always go according to plan. And that's exactly why this isn't meant to be a rigid schedule that you have to follow. Think of it as a framework you can return to. When you notice that life is starting to take over again, go back to the basics and ask yourself: What was it that made me happy again? Then use that answer to start finding your balance again.